Distractions of Mr. Why

There is no comfort in the steps I make,

But for the tug of the One who called me in the beginning.

What once was is now lost,

A life spent and toiled.

The fellowship found has now fled,

Actions shadowed by their beliefs.

The walk, committed from the beginning,

Moves forward at the beckoning.

My spirit is rocked by the fleeing footsteps,

They run to the complacent lies of their reality.

Comfort is not found for them in my pain,

They fall silent.

My choice casts fear on their walk,

I push forward seeking the Light.

His feet I place my fears, in Him I trust my future.

There is innocence in my silence.

 

"Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me." Job 38:3

Long ago, many questions swam through my mind. The why's and what's dominated my thoughts. Abandoned and foggy was my walk that was so very clear before. I too began to question God and what he was doing. I could relate to Job in this area. At the end of his suffering, after losing loved ones, wealth and friends; he began to question God as as if he had equal footing with the master. God indeed threw questions back to overwhelm Job and force him back to submission and restore his proper role as the Lord's servant.

So there I stood feeling all sorry for myself and waited for my Fathers answer. So soft His response, "Why do you ask why, when you should be asking how. I cannot use you for My Kingdom if you are always looking back..." My mind did a double take, then exploded. Wow.....I was so hung up on why, that My Father could not use me.

Here I stand, many months later,better for burying the why and putting on my How outfit. I wish I could say I don't ask why, because on occasion I will embrace that easy question. I, however,do not stay on the why because I want the How to be in control.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

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Jehovah Nissi

The battle rages

My strength to the left and right

My banner The Lord

 

The battle cry of the soul goes dimmer in the silence. The lack of support drains the emotional bucket bleeding it dry. Each person needs support as the battle rages. The arms grow weak, the mind is weary as the enemy attacks. Accountability and Hope is given to us on the left and right. Just as Aaron and Hur set Moses down and lifted his arms when he could no longer do it, we need this in our life. We have all seen it haven't we. A brother or sister struggles through there battle, giving it there all..are they alone? Do we step up and lift of them arms....Stand in the gap when they cannot. Our hope is in our support and courage that God gives to us for others. Do we hide this gift....it is painful to support the weak, but it is necessary. It is what He died for.....that brother hurting is just as important as you are to Our God.

 

---"The Lord is My Banner". Exodus 17:8-16

 

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Blank canvas

Today is not tomorrow,

It is not yesterday.

Today is an empty canvas,

Full of Wondrous Amazement!

 

The tools given to each:

What can....

What will...

Paint the land with what is given.

 

Colors collide with reality,

Broad the strokes,

The color so vibrant.

Breathe in the Beauty...

 

Arms open wide,

Direct the actions of my Heart,

Use your servant..

I am yours.

 

"And I will delight myself in Your commandments, which I love." Psalm 119:47

I take delight in seeking the One who made me, saved me, and guides me. My delight is a deliberate act and not a burden. Each day is a blank canvas where God asks me to step out on Faith. Every moment begins with that step forward, some steps are painful, but others are natural. Does God take the same delight in my action if it is not on faith. Does my aroma give Him pleasure when my actions are simple? I will not fear tomorrow because my focus is on not today, but the very moment. My faith will take me to Him...

"And Peter answered Him and said,'Lord if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.' So He said, 'Come'....." Matthew 14:28-29

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Unfinished Business

To here is the call, The gentle breeze speaks. Consuming the heavy past, Breathing Hope for tomorrow. Ragged we stand gazing off, False hope in the comfort of the past. Here we are, there we were, Both one in the the same..... He wants us in the now, No preparation required for the meeting. Dirty and shackled He wants us, Ready to cleanse when asked.... Still a long way off He sees us, The journey is in the now. The burden He lifts, Releasing yesterday...cleansing today. "Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord......Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on." Exodus 14:13, 15 In my journey I have two primary objectives; (1) Stand still to hear the call and (2) Move on.... I have to stand still and listen to His promise and direction, once I have received that promise I must move forward to allow for the blessing to happen. With God at your side, the Journey is endless and rewarding.

Tomorrow is not yesterday

The pains of sorrow fight the light, Flickering the past into the shadows. The present is dim despite the brightness of tomorrow, Shadows swaying to hope, visions distorted. Only the One knows the path to Home, The flame is awakened by the Father. Teaching from history to revive the future, Calling into the darkness "Your Hope is here" Soft and smooth is the whisper, Tickling the roots to grow deep within. The walk is tedious and treacherous, The mirage matures in its Faith. "I have prayed for you..." Passions stir that once were lost, Ministering to the belief of Majesty. The patchwork becomes the badge. "But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.". Luke 22:32 There is always a moment of reflection before going forward to the unknown. A pause in time when we meet Christ,that Kyros, when the world stops and you speak to your Savior face to face. The questions leave and you are blanketed with His grace. Fueling the strength to walk forward,to do what is asked without question. He will provide the companions for your journey,for you are not alone. What is given is sufficient for today and tomorrow. The walk begins.....

The Mess

I am in the mess
Emptiness covers the Hope
Painfully I walk

The toughest part of The Mess in is believing that you are valuable enough to get out or worth the time. Doubt creeps into our thoughts and our hopes fade. Tomorrow seems lost and forgotten like a faded memory. The reality is that you are valued and needed. The hope that seems lost just sits at His feet. He is waiting for you to release the burden and he can replace it with His love.

The Mess is not required to be cleaned before it is presented to the Master.

Return to Me

The lights grow dim.
Step by step the path it fades.
The present becomes blurred with the past,
While the future tells lies.

The focus that once was,
Becomes a want of the now.
Confusion strangles the hope.
Chaos becomes my master.

From the darkness It comes,
Out of the silence It vibrates.
Will I look for the Freedom,
The beauty of the the Passion!

What a roller coaster ride this life is! The chaos of the now always seems to separate us from our true goal. It is so easy to see the pit before and after, but so difficult to see the pit while you are in it and trying to get out. The most amazing aspect of our relationship with our Father is His unconditional love for us. It is unending....it is withstanding and forever. I draw hope on the fact that I walk around with a tilted Halo, that I fall short of His love. But I try everyday because I know he stands there saying "Return to Me....and I will return to you."--Zechariah 1:3

Blasphemous Freedom

Darkness craved the fear,
   awakening the savage spirit.
Adrift in emptiness,
  wispers in the nebulous.

Frustrated by the binding,
  hopelessly drained of faith!
The desintagration begins
  as the radience fades.

Out of obscurity they are seen,
  deliberately they grasp my humanity
My spirit is roused from its slumber,
  my heart permeates confidence.

Blasphemy:  irreverent behavior toward anything held sacred
Freedom:  the power to order ones own actions

"Do not grieve the Holy Spirit." Eph 4:30.

Life is all about freedom of the heart, but what direction does this freedom go?  A lot of anything is dangerous, good or bad.  As believers it is in our nature to pull and tug from the spirit.  The flesh pulls, just as the spirit pulls.  The tension is tremendous and can weight so much on our spirit.  It can feel like a gargantuan stack of bricks on our shoulders.  We are not called to carry this load.  We are asked to place it His feet, seek His direction and wisdom.  Do not grieve the Spirit by taking advantage of the Freedom that you have, but take heed the calling of the Spirit as it does not require burden as part of your luggage on your journey.  The irony here, we give up freedom to the spirit and He gives it back ten fold.  Amazing, but sometimes we have to go through the darknesss to understand or it may require us to pull someone from that same darkness we stumbled upon.


 

Mom

You were there,
   always and forever.
An encouragement,
   support through love.

The valleys of life,
   you walked with me.
Always on the Journey,
   loving me for me.

Your wisdom so true,
   compassion warming me.
Your strenght always a wisper to me,
   "don't quit, keep moving forward."

Such warmth I find in you.
   Love abounding forward.
Truth always there,
   hope never fails.

To the world's greatest Mother.  You have taught me so much, given me such confidence and strength!  The man I am today is because you took the time to be my mother.  You have always been there for me and supported me not matter what. 

Thank you Mom,  I love you yesterday, today and forever. 

When we return...

Busy is the way of the world
False hope is around each corner.
"You can have it now"
No wait inside...

Impatience draw us away,
Traps set in our path.
Grabbing us, locking us down.
Shame sets in......

Our desire is to go Home.
Pride blinds our Spirit
and fear suffocates our hope.
Deep within we cry out.

How could it be so simple,
the turn towards Grace...
Humbly we kneel,
Accepting the Gift.


Each day is a struggle to follow, to pursue, to hope, but if we turn towards the Grace of God he will meet us.  My memory verse this week is:  "So he returned home to his father.  And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming.  Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him."  Luke 15:20.  There are many times in our journey, that we are so far away from our Father, looking at the world instead of Him.  It is so powerful to me that He sees my heart and knows when I am pursuing Him.  In my deepest darkest times, he still sees me "a long way off", but still is "filled with love and compassion" for ME!  I am truly humbled by my Father!

As you are?

It has been said:  "Don't think that!"
"Don't listen to that!"
"Don't feel that!"

Shame is in the void.
The despair overpowering.
Naysayers, pointing... "that is wrong."

Grace is a blanket,
the warmth goes deep.
Compassion so pure.

Unworthy are we all,
Love conquers the past.
Compassion is our compass.

I find that as I draw closer to God, I realize how unworthy I truly am.  But there it is, He is still there with open arms.  Despite all my shortcomings and failures, His love does not change.  I am a Ragamuffin to the extreme.  It is His example that I will live by.  Jesus did not say "Love one another if...", He said "A new command I give you, Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35).

God did not give us the power to change people, He only gave us the desire to Love them, to Truly love them.  (Romans 12:9)

Wash Me

Life manifests dust
Hidden within the corners
Confession to cleanse

The definition of dust (noun) means: (8) anything worthless.  Over the past few days I have been thinking about dust and how it invades our lives.  We can clean and scrub, but dust will always come back (Gen 3:17-19).  Sometimes we put down table cloths or nick knacks (worldly passions and possessions)  to hide the dust, but it is still there.  On this journey, our goal is to remove the random things that hide our dirtiness from the One True God.  Allow Him to clean all that is in our life.   (Titus 2:11-12)

You Waited...

We walked and laughed,
   together was our Communion,
The Light was so powerful,
   time felt endless.

I heard whispers in the dark,
   enticing the flesh.
So harmless it all seemed,
   I stopped to listen.

I heard laughter and singing,
   the sounds grew louder.
The world knocked,
   the light faded behind.

Minutes flying by,
  my "want" grew.
So much around me,
   emptiness felt within.

With great despair my soul turned,
   there He stood hands outstretched.
The Light washed me so deep,
   His embrace so focused.

The other day I read that God is the God of second chances (King David, Moses, Peter...).  Everyday I am blown away at how much God truly loves me.  I do not have fancy cars or tons of money in the bank, but I do have a God that cares for me so much that he draws me closer daily.  There are so many things in my life to be thankful for (My wife, my Kids, my family, my dc church), but what I am most thankful for is that fact that God is always there.  He knows that I will fail, but he knows my heart desires so much to serve Him.  I pray that as I go into 2011, my worship will be deeper so that I may be a vessel of His love to the world.

"These aren't the droids your looking for..."

Layer by layer
My relationship enhanced
Freedom lies within


As I continue my walk to Freedom, I am struck by the awe of God.  He could easily use the Jedi Mind Trick on me and take away my pain and suffering, however, He wants a personal relationship.  He wants me to crave Him as much as He craves me.  For this He shows me what keeps me from being closer to Him and it is up to me to decide to follow or not.  It is up to me to draw upon His strength.  I am an onion and each layer is a part of my life that keeps me from achieving all that His mighty hand directs.  I am honored to draw upon his strength and confess my short comings. (Psalm 32:3-5)

"Your faith has made you well..."

The flesh is weakest
God's might empowers my soul
Victory is ours

God does not ask us to have Super faith everyday, but He asks us to use the Faith that we have right now.  No more, no less. (Luke 8:43-48)  Our relationship with Christ begins at the point of faith, the smallest act will spark a new beginning.  A simple touch of the robe, a simple act of courage.  Our relationship is a two way street, we must grow in our knowledge of our God, who calls us friends.

That which is not seen...

When sorrow fills my soul
   and darkness pulls me in.
I seek the piece of Light
   and grasp at hope.
Desires surround my soul as
  flies to fruit under the Sun.
Stand firm, stand strong!
  "don't quit" I hear in the past.
It is a wisper, yet the soul is Strong
   as passion floods my eyes.
It is no longer left nor right,
   I wait humbly to grow.
Pat, pat the drops fall down,
   the smell of spring goes forth.
Desires washed away,
   pouring down my life.
Cleanliness is here,
   a new beginning, a fresh start.

The battle each day is make sure our thoughts are of Christ and not the world.  I keep on thinking "Every thought to the obedience of Christ".  That is so powerful!  What can be done with a life that every thought is obedient to the one and only.  How many people would be clothed or embraced?  The true battle is not in the flesh, but in our minds and in the world that we cannot see.  Who is ready to suit up?   (Ephesians 6-10-20 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

To Boldly Go....

His risk was great, the time so right.
Standing true, standing firm.
Boldness that is Divine for a purpose.
Flesh melting aside to the Spirit.

Armour ready for battle.
Hidden are the Gems of the Word.
Strike hard the sound of Passion.
Great is He that is in Me.

Temptation abounds and whispers.
Feelings hurt, should I go on?
Boldness carries forward to the Truth.
The Way, the Truth, the Life carries forward.

Many leave and fear mounts.
Multitude stay with faith restored.
Challenged to stand tall, to move forward.
Stale Spirit no more, Spring is here.


For the past few days I have been encouraged to Boldly go forth.  Through my mind I keep hearing the beginning of every Star Trek episode or movie...."Space, the final frontier...."  I am not here to just accept Christ and be happy, but I have been given a Mission.  Not a Top Secret Mission, but a Bold Mission to proclaim the Word of God became flesh and share what that life changing event has done for me and can do for so many others.  Through the Boldness of the people in my life, I have become alive to my quest.  Who will join me? (John 6:60 and Ephesians 6:19)

The Call

Sounds all around me, pushing me to a fro.
Desires of flesh, bone become the reality.
Path pushing, yet my soul longs.
Sacrificial light draws me near.
Do you hear it, so soft, so calm.
Flesh pushed aside, strength within.
Not of the world, yet in it.
Time stops, the sound is clear.
"Through down your life, follow Me."
All is answered, as the call is clear.

Matt 9:9 "As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. "

My desire is to here the calling where I am.  To follow and serve that wonderful Voice is a challenge that can only be met by seeking our Fathers will, otherwise, He will ask "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9)

Holy Haiku!

Accredit, but test
Holy one breathes authentic
True it is

It is so important to feed upon the word of God (1Pet 2:2) and to crave the joy in the experience.  We get our nourishment from a multitude of places:  Church, TV, Radio, Blogs, Friends...etc.  What must be realized is that no matter where you get your nourishment you much check it to make sure it came from the One, True God.  In Acts 17:11 we find that the Bereans "received the word with great eagerness and examined the word everyday to if what Paul said was true."   We have been warned that there will be false teachings and false profits, we must rely upon the spirit and the word to guide us.  As the Lord molds us, we must test our path to verify it is heading to breath of God.

Baldi

The Holy Spirit our Garmin

The path so true, yet turns dark.
Wisdom sought, wispers back...
"Turn right," but I go left.
"Stop," yet I continue on.

Adversity is around every corner.
The storms rage in the path.
I hear warnings, but don't Listen.
I see sights, but I am blind.

The Spirit is patient and waits.
Desire returns, agony no more.
The path has been illuminated,
The connection is set.

"Turn right," I throw down my pain.
I cry out, "Away with you!"
The path is true, the wind brushes.
All is ablaze, communion is here.

Can we lose our path, can we ignore the One and only?  Unfortunatly, it happens all too often.  The focus is then not that we took our own path, but how to get back to the path of the One.  How to clear out our senses and feel the True Communion of our Father.  The joy is when we throw away our idols and desires for the simple Faith.  He is always there, always patient and waiting for the Pure Heart.  Build in me the Heart of David and the Wisdom of Solomon.  Isaiah 30:15-22

Baldi